In defense of Pride and Prejudice’s Caroline Bingley

You know what one of the most terrible things about unrequited love is? Realizing that you were never the main character.

When you have a crush on someone, you assume you’re Elizabeth Bennett or Mr Darcy, of the beginning of what is going to be a very great love story. There are all these longing looks and coded meaning behind your friendly talk, but we all know what is going on here. Or at least you think you do.

The terrible thing about realizing that the person you were crushing on doesn’t give a rats ass about you is that all along you were actually Caroline Bingley. Don’t remember who she is? Of course you don’t, because she’s just a minor character in the story. Here’s Wikipedia to help jog your memory:

Caroline Bingley is the snobbish sister of Charles Bingley with a dowry of twenty thousand pounds. Miss Bingley harbours romantic intentions on Mr Darcy, is jealous of his growing attachment to Elizabeth, and is disdainful and rude to her.

That’s right. Caroline Bingley is the TOTAL DELUDED BUMHEAD who so stuuupidly thought she had a chance in hell next to the beautiful, smart, special ya di ya ya Elizabeth. She was but an insignificant blip in the horizons of the epic love affair that we’re all actually here to tune into (Darcy <3 Lizzy 4eVA). She makes no real impact on the storyline except to serve as an unlikeable foil to Elizabeth and to serve as a source of comic relief (where the joke is on her rather than with her.)

Sometimes I think that that’s all love really is. Two people who mutually agree to star in the same love story and render everyone else as minor characters.

Were it not for the fact that I know it’d be changed back almost immediately I’d change Caroline Bingley’s Wikipedia entry to:

Caroline Bingley is the much misunderstood sister of Charles Bingley. Like any single woman in the world she was vulnerable to romantic feelings and had the mistaken impression she and Mr Darcy would make a good match. When this turned out not to be the case she was bitterly disappointed (and perhaps unfairly took this out on Mr Darcy’s actual love interest Elizabeth, but who hasn’t been there?), but in time she got over this and eventually found a more appropriate match.