The woman from HR with the sparkly face

Evan from work and I are slightly obsessed with the woman from HR. She is the most beautiful woman in the office, and yesterday I was telling Evan about I how bumped into her in the kitchen.

“She turned around in one swoop and all these sparkles and rainbows and flying unicorns were shooting out from her face. It was marvelous.”

Evan tells me that when she speaks Chinese to him it’s like hearing music and he can barely concentrate on what she’s saying. He just melts under her gaze. Once he organised a meeting with her to “talk about a few things in his contract he didn’t understand” but it was entirely a farce. He just wanted an excuse to see her.

The woman from HR is pretty mysterious. She doesn’t really mix with everyone else, just lists away in the HR ivory tower, keeping all that gorgeousness to herself.

I bet she smells like flowers and her skin tastes like candy canes.

It’s funny the way Evan and I can both be overwhelmed by her beauty but for me there’s no sexual attraction. And in that I can only assume that he and I feel different things when we see her. Namely, the amount of excitement happening between our legs differs between him and me.